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      <image:caption>Dave Quackenbush, Lead Singer, The Vandals</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Warren Fitzgerald, Guitarist, The Vandals</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Dave Quackenbush, Lead Singer, The Vandals</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Warren Fitzgerald, Guitarist, The Vandals</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Help Wanted - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Help Wanted - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Help Wanted - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Help Wanted - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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    <loc>https://www.bethanywgates.com/blog/hiatus1</loc>
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    <lastmod>2022-03-11</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness is on Hiatus</image:title>
      <image:caption>Image by arstockphoto on Pixabay</image:caption>
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    <loc>https://www.bethanywgates.com/blog/ukraine</loc>
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    <lastmod>2022-03-11</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Ukraine-Russia Conflict - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Image by Miller from Maps Wire</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Ukraine-Russia Conflict - Make it stand out</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Ukraine-Russia Conflict</image:title>
      <image:caption>Image by David_Peterson from Pixabay</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Ukraine-Russia Conflict - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Image from Pixabay</image:caption>
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    <lastmod>2022-01-07</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - 2022: Catching Covid - Make it stand out</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - 2022: Catching Covid</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - 2022: Catching Covid - Make it stand out</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - 2022: Catching Covid - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Isabella and Zsa Fischer on Unsplash</image:caption>
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    <lastmod>2021-12-30</lastmod>
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      <image:caption>Dave Quackenbush, Lead Singer, The Vandals</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - A Christmas Punk - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - A Christmas Punk - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Warren Fitzgerald, Guitarist, The Vandals</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - A Christmas Punk - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Joe Escalante, Bassist, The Vandals</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Josh Freese, Drummer, The Vandals</image:caption>
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      <image:caption>Image by A Christmas Carol from WallpaperAccess</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - A Christmas Punk</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Dekler Ph on Unsplash with edits by me</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - A Christmas Punk - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Camy Aquino from Pexels</image:caption>
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    <loc>https://www.bethanywgates.com/blog/attackofthemattress</loc>
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    <lastmod>2022-03-20</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - Attack of the Mattress! - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Attack of the Mattress! - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Attack of the Mattress! - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Attack of the Mattress! - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Attack of the Mattress!</image:title>
      <image:caption>Image by Clker-Free-Vector-Images, OpenClipart-Vectors and Bethany W. Gates</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Attack of the Mattress! - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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    <loc>https://www.bethanywgates.com/blog/thanksgiving2021</loc>
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    <lastmod>2022-02-02</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - Thanksgiving 2021: Pass Gas - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Cargo ships off the coast in Huntington Beach, November 23, 2021</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Thanksgiving 2021: Pass Gas - I was in the second grade. Friendless, painfully shy, and rarely spoke. Since I was a quiet kid, no one thought it unusual when I remained silent. The class busily worked on an assignment when I accidentally ripped a loud one. Practically broke the sound barrier. My cheeks turned bright red, and I froze. Almost in unison, all my classmates, and the teacher, cried out.  “BRAD!”  Brad sat next to me. While he protested that they had the wrong kid, no one believed him. Poor Brad took that humiliating beating and was branded as “the smelly kid.” All the while, I said nothing until now.  Dear Brad, If you’re still out there—it was me. It is my hope that this confession brings you comfort and sets you free. Though you had no choice in the matter, I greatly appreciate you acting as a human shield during my desperate time of need. On behalf of my bowels, thank you for your service. Sincerely,  Will the real Smelly Kid, please stand up?</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Tengyart on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Thanksgiving 2021: Pass Gas</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Amy Shamblen on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Thanksgiving 2021: Pass Gas - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by annie pm on Unsplash</image:caption>
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    <loc>https://www.bethanywgates.com/blog/onyx3</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-10-01</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - Requiem for Onyx Part 3: One Year Later - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Requiem for Onyx Part 3: One Year Later - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Requiem for Onyx Part 3: One Year Later - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Requiem for Onyx Part 3: One Year Later</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Gijs Coolen on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Requiem for Onyx Part 3: One Year Later - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Requiem for Onyx Part 2: The Great Outdoors - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Requiem for Onyx Part 2: The Great Outdoors - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Olive and Onyx, April 24, 2019</image:caption>
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    <image:image>
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      <image:title>Blog - Requiem for Onyx Part 2: The Great Outdoors - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1631829102787-KJQEPTU8XUCVNHQLB6PG/blog-raccoon.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Requiem for Onyx Part 2: The Great Outdoors - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Jonnelle Yankovich on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Requiem for Onyx Part 2: The Great Outdoors - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Olive and Onyx, April 24, 2019</image:caption>
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    <image:image>
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      <image:title>Blog - Requiem for Onyx Part 2: The Great Outdoors - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Requiem for Onyx Part 2: The Great Outdoors</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Raquel Pedrotti on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Requiem for Onyx Part 2: The Great Outdoors - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Onyx meets Kahlua, age 1 month</image:caption>
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    <lastmod>2021-09-17</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - Requiem for Onyx Part 1: Spirit Animal - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Onyx, 1 month</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1631821808150-23M519V3MM52ATURIPWM/blog-keyboard.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Requiem for Onyx Part 1: Spirit Animal - Another engineer named Marc sat across the walkway from Fred. While I don’t remember the motivation, Fred reprogramed Marc’s virtual assistant to operate it from his own laptop. When Marc returned from his smoke break, he sat down and heard a creepy voice.  “Marc? Marc? You gotta let me out of here,” the virtual assistant said.  “What the hell,” Marc pushed his chair out of his cube.  “Marc? Are you there? Come back! You gotta let me out of here! I have to go to the bathroom!” the virtual assistant screamed.  Those of us in the vicinity laughed. Marc turned and shot Fred a look.  “That’s just wrong,” Marc said.</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Jon Spectacle on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Requiem for Onyx Part 1: Spirit Animal</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Hannah Troupe on Unsplash</image:caption>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.bethanywgates.com/blog/madness1</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2022-03-24</lastmod>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1627603701266-0AQRBMB1KJJ1F83Y0QDM/number10-coffee.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Cappuccino. Latte. Cold Brew. I'm a bloodhound for a fancy-schmancy cup of coffee. Early summer tan style. No sugar and lots of cream.  Care to buy me some?</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1627534667414-XRVUOR71GRS7JQ7BOOQT/blog-psa.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Avoid the Unsolicited Gaze</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Ms. Florence's Agenda</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - My Gas Station Hero</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Pilling: A Sheet Set on the Brink of Divorce</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - First</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1627603660351-UW4UYYKWYSJI43RTRN07/number9-earth.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - My numbers are still in their infancy stage and substantially lower than high-traffic volume rates. That being said, Madness reached 38 countries across 6 continents in the first year. #missionantarctica</image:title>
      <image:caption>Image by PIRO4D from Pixabay</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Photo by Nihal Demirci on Unsplash</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Photo by Jazz Shoes Png Clipart on ClipArtMax</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Photo by SHVETS production from Pexels</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Photo by Konstantin Mishchenko from Pexels</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - A Solid Man</image:title>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1611279532852-O8DHJ7L6PIRXHB6QSQSG/blog-helpwantedinterview.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Help Wanted Part 1: The Interview</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - The Korean Spa</image:title>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1608014269404-XT7O8F19T1YNPJ0K2Z13/blog-civilwar.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Civil War is so 1861</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Wounded Part 1: Cupping</image:title>
      <image:caption>Wounded Part 1: Cupping Wounded Part 2: The Golden Gloves</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1627602780884-9GDMAFPRQ65AOESWCRAC/number2-Bethany+W.+Gates+bio.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - 18 days after go-live, a friend called, “your  bio is horrible.” When I explained it was the industry standard format, he insisted that I rewrite it. Meaning, while I gathered my thoughts and wrote a new draft, he drank a beer and smoked a cigarette on the other end of the line. I finished the draft, but he refused to hang up until it was typed, staged and pushed live.</image:title>
      <image:caption>This is the only time a third-party copyedit was permitted.</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1627603173034-7O3YGS7D553CW6RNOGUV/number3-first+email111920.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - The site failed several times during the first month. Code misfired. Form delivery malfunctioned. Third-party programs worked against each other.</image:title>
      <image:caption>After a solid month of no hiccups, I held my breath and deployed the first email on November 19, 2020.</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1627626438287-Z3ZTG2O3O3CLAK2U0MNN/blog-survey.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Share your feedback in this short survey. “This sick storyteller wants to hear it all!” - A Solid Man</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Angela Roma from Pexels</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1627628767268-CJ90MU5XMLRNK738BHAK/quotesubscriber-tiffanyl.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - “WHAT THE FUCK?!”</image:title>
      <image:caption>Retail Robbery</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1627603585616-T1R8FPDWJTG1QMA87KKM/number7-chinesemassageparlor.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - After watching a webinar hosted by a popular book publisher, I contacted customer service. Not only did the president himself respond to my question, but he read—and loved—Chinese Massage Parlor.</image:title>
      <image:caption>Not my first choice for a professional starting point, but away we go. Thank you for your readership, sir!</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1627630739862-ENEAGNQYNX3PJYK3LBNG/mostsubscriber-christiner.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Most Supportive</image:title>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1628629490483-310UFGYZICL7TXWF7D2B/contributor-lolar.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1627603557050-TRDWEE13KW739IBUC18G/number6-covidfreechristmas.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Several senior citizens reached out privately to share that I made the right call in Waiting on Covid-Free Christmas.</image:title>
      <image:caption>Apparently, that tactic is NOT socially acceptable during the senior shopping hour. #validation</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1627621230714-BC9DP31H3CPFRWB6B34L/contributor-tenam.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1628629519548-PP4DGVXPUOZYXHESWKR4/contributor-melindaw.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1627625049529-J5412OAV16RMIMEPGV82/blog-eyeroll.jpeg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1627602628977-UVLBBG335H03VM1ED6JS/number1-thisismadness.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Madness launched on September 3, 2020. In addition to the intro post, four other stories went live, but with different dates to make the site appear established.</image:title>
      <image:caption>This is Madness Avoid the Unsolicited Gaze Ms. Florence Agenda My Gas Station Hero Pilling: A Sheet Set on the Brink of Divorce</image:caption>
    </image:image>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1627625841792-RN4F7I614QD3H1MSQV3W/blog-coffee.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Support Madness and the creatives behind it! Tip your waitress writer!</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash</image:caption>
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    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1627715588588-EOF7BHJM2DGLN0372H9K/number4-wizardofozdorothy.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - I played Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz my senior year of high school. Ballet was my first love. Jazz was my second. Moshing was my third. But, I have yet to conquer Flamenco.</image:title>
      <image:caption>I dance every time I get a new subscriber. Maybe I stay seated. Maybe there won’t be music, but by God, there will be dancing.</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1627603629519-AXTNQX0F1LGXNR7D63KD/number8-popularpost.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - The top three posts were: A Solid Man Help Wanted Part 1: The Interview The Korean Spa</image:title>
      <image:caption>Though not distributed to subscribers, Civil War is so 1861, was the most shared.  Photo by Nataliya Vaitkevich from Pexels</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - “FUCK.”</image:title>
      <image:caption>The Good Shepherd Part 2: Kiss Good-bye</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One!</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Pineapple Supply Co. from Pexels</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1627603515475-ENF48P9R907L6AGMDEV0/number5-avoidtheunsolicitedgaze.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - An elderly woman identified with Avoid the Unsolicited Gaze, because she had a similar experience.</image:title>
      <image:caption>She decided to share her story with her three adult daughters. In doing so, she healed lingering trauma. The reason I know this I because one of her daughters is my friend.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One!</image:title>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Requiem for Thanksgiving Dinner</image:title>
      <image:caption>Lead the Charger</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - Ask Jake</image:title>
      <image:caption>Ask Jake The Real Con Part 1: Pay and Benefits</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1627628789699-TANUG12I8BDSSDV2SBKD/quotesubscriber-noelc.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - Madness Turns One! - “I love reading your blog. It makes me feel so much better about my life.”</image:title>
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    <loc>https://www.bethanywgates.com/blog/fishy</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-07-29</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - Somethings Fishy</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Robert Gunnarsson on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Somethings Fishy - My friend Star loves antiques and all things weird. So it wasn’t a total surprise to discover her bathroom was in the kitchen and the kitchen was in the bathroom. The shower and toilet were huddled together in one corner while the refrigerator, stove, and cupboards were in the other. Like, the home goods version of West Side Story. I really wanted to give that room the attention it deserved #socks #sheets When I turned on “Sink” to wash my hands, she burst into tears.  “I don’t know who I am! Am I a bathroom or kitchen sink?!” “I don’t know,” I said as she cried in my hands.  “They both think they own me. Neither respects my boundaries or asks what I want. I’m caught in the middle,” she sobbed as I lathered.   “You really are in the middle, aren’t you?” I looked over both shoulders.  “You know that saying? Everything AND the kitchen sink?!?!? That’s me!”  I held her hand-le but had nothing to offer. She was hot and cold and pretty drained. Sadly, I had places to be and people to see, so I was forced to shut her down. Good-bye, Sink, and good luck.</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Adam Birkett on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Somethings Fishy - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Starboard Creek on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Somethings Fishy</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Fengyou Wan on Unsplash</image:caption>
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    <loc>https://www.bethanywgates.com/blog/kickball</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-07-28</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - It’s Just Kickball</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - It’s Just Kickball</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Todd Borner on FREEIMAGES</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - It’s Just Kickball - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Nathan Shively on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - It’s Just Kickball - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - It’s Just Kickball - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Markus Spiske from Pexels</image:caption>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.bethanywgates.com/blog/charger</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-08-24</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - Lead the Charger</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Wengang Zhai on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Lead the Charger - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Paul Bulai on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Lead the Charger - Whenever I purchase a new phone, I treat it like a planned pregnancy. The nursery is done. Lamaze class is aced. My overnight bag is packed. When the Apple Nurse opens the box, I always hold my breath. Look at it. So beautiful. That is mine. That was made just for me.  The rep carefully removes the iPhone from the packaging. He gently places the new iPhone on the table to perform all the necessary procedures.  Naturally, I’m mourning the old model but secretly already playing favorites with the new one. I hope everything goes okay with the data transfer. This one will be just like me too, right?  Success! A feeling of relief washes over me. A perfectly healthy iPhone ready to go with all my preferences.   “Do you want me to put the new screen protector on?” the employee dutifully asks.  “Please,” I breathless say while holding back tears.  I eagerly watch as the employee slips the new “diaper” on before placing it in the new carriage, er ah, cover. Done and done.  This will be the one—and only—time my iPhone is handled with tender loving care. The moment I leave the “hospital” that bad boy is getting dropped, banged, spilled on, etc. It’s a wonder how my phone survives the hellish BWG environment.</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Tyler Lastovich on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Lead the Charger - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Adam Birkett on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Lead the Charger</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Javier Allegue Barros on Unsplash</image:caption>
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    <loc>https://www.bethanywgates.com/blog/shepherd2</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-07-28</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Good Shepherd Part 2: Kiss Goodbye</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Enrico Tavian on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1623888919583-XU6NV4WT5CX7QAIBQ7ZF/blog-doglove.png</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - The Good Shepherd Part 2: Kiss Goodbye</image:title>
      <image:caption>Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Good Shepherd Part 2: Kiss Goodbye</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Fabian Gieske on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Good Shepherd Part 2: Kiss Goodbye</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Enrico Tavian on Unsplash</image:caption>
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    <lastmod>2021-07-28</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Good Shepherd Part 1: Once Bitten</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Lesly Juarez on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Good Shepherd Part 1: Once Bitten - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Good Shepherd Part 1: Once Bitten - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Hugo Delauney on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Good Shepherd Part 1: Once Bitten</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Tara Winstead from Pexels</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Good Shepherd Part 1: Once Bitten</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Max Kleinen on Unsplash</image:caption>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.bethanywgates.com/blog/transgender</loc>
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    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-07-28</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - Ask Jake - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Toni Reed on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Ask Jake - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Image by Kat Love from Pixabay</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Ask Jake - My friend Stephanie and I grabbed lunch at the food court. She sat down, while I waited in line. A hefty man stood next to me. I acknowledged him and focused back on the menu.   “Do you like chicks or dicks?” he asked.  “Excuse me?” I winced. “Me and my girl are looking to ah…expand our horizons.”  A moment ago, I was debating lunch. Suddenly, I’m at the center of a Double Stuf Oreo. It was my first threesome proposition. I was so thrown that I needed a referee to “call the play.” He followed me to Stephanie, who looked rather curious.  “Can you ask that question one more time?”  “Do you like CHICKS OR DICKS?” he said with oomph. Stephanie coughed up her food.  “What do I say here?” I asked for advice.  “I’m not answering that,” Stephanie caught her breath. The man didn’t even offer to buy me lunch, for goodness sake. “I’m not the woman for you…and you.” He and his girl walked off in a huff. Can’t win them all.</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Denise Johnson on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - Ask Jake</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash</image:caption>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.bethanywgates.com/blog/clock4</loc>
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    <lastmod>2021-09-16</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Clock Part 4: Pen vs. Sword</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by David Peterson from Pexels</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Clock Part 4: Pen vs. Sword - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by David Peterson from Pexels</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Clock Part 4: Pen vs. Sword</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Thomas Griggs on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Clock Part 4: Pen vs. Sword - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1621553157446-1QNPXHK766UEF9PTJJGE/blog-BBBknife2.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - The Clock Part 4: Pen vs. Sword - The summer before, I worked for a knife company. My office ran a sales contest for the highest quota, which I won. The prize? A serrated-edge pocket knife.  On another note, I am a BIG fan of Quentin Tarantino. LOVE Pulp Fiction. Spoiler alert! Towards the end of the movie, Samuel L Jackson held a gun to Tim Roth, after Roth stole his wallet and stuffed it inside a trash bag. Jackson asks for his wallet back.  “Which one is it?” Roth asks.   “It’s the one that says, “Bad Mother Fucker.”  Roth pulls out the wallet that says that. Hence the inspiration to engrave my knife with my nickname, Big Bad Beth.</image:title>
      <image:caption>Whatever it is, the way you tell your story online can make all the difference.</image:caption>
    </image:image>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.bethanywgates.com/blog/clock3</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-07-28</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Clock Part 3: Human Nature</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1620976480707-GFQN3FVKEO2OMJ4E6X80/blog-coffee.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - The Clock Part 3: Human Nature - During the summer break, I worked night shifts at a local hippie shop. A cute twenty-something with a shaggy haircut and matching goatee entered. He wore a baggy green sweater with faded jeans. He looked around and opted to buy a few bumper stickers.  The record store guy, who worked across the corridor, had a little crush on me. When he saw the shaggy man and I talk through the glass walls, he called to interject. Told him I had a customer and hung up. The shaggy man picked up on the attempted diversion.   “You’re not into him?” he asked.  “Nah, I prefer to have coffee with someone I can have a real conversation with,” I said.  He returned a few minutes after the mall closed and waved me down.  “Do you wanna get a coffee?” he asked.  His name was Travis. Most college kids I knew drove a shit-box. Myself included. However, when I got into his car, I grew suspicious. Something was awry.  We ended up at Friendly’s, a chain restaurant known for their ice cream. During the conversation, the awry feeling crept back up.  “Are you homeless?” I asked empathetically. He paused, “yes, but I choose to be.”  Travis felt that to be happy, he needed to be inspired. To be inspired, he needed to hit rock bottom. Suffice to say our creative processes were substantially different. While I marveled at the wanderlust, I grappled with the strategy. I never saw him again but hoped he found what he longed. That and reasonable lodgings.</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Jocelyn Morales on Unsplash</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Clock Part 3: Human Nature - Make it stand out</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Jay Rembert on Unsplash</image:caption>
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  <url>
    <loc>https://www.bethanywgates.com/blog/clock2</loc>
    <changefreq>monthly</changefreq>
    <priority>0.5</priority>
    <lastmod>2021-07-28</lastmod>
    <image:image>
      <image:loc>https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5f49bddba79f5d0b3d70c0ed/1619742244196-T28EODIR8AZ7PNOCEP76/blog-goddessbethknowsall.jpg</image:loc>
      <image:title>Blog - The Clock Part 2: A Goddess is Born - All the columnists had headshots featured next to the columns. Mind you—a headshot is merely that—JUST THE HEAD! Nothing below the shoulders.   When I took my headshot, I thought nothing of my outfit. Had I known this image would be published as my first debut, I might have opted for something a tad more professional.  Lose the mini skirt, scrunchie, stripped stockings and Doc Martens. Maybe relax the arms a bit. And, choose a background that is NOT a fireplace. Don’t get me wrong, I loved the picture then and I still do.</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by Jean van der Meulen from Pexels</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Clock Part 2: A Goddess is Born</image:title>
      <image:caption>Image by Comfreak from Pixabay</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Clock Part 2: A Goddess is Born</image:title>
      <image:caption>Photo by ROMAN ODINTSOV from Pexels</image:caption>
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      <image:title>Blog - The Clock Part 2: A Goddess is Born</image:title>
      <image:caption>Image by Steve Johnson from Pixabay</image:caption>
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    <lastmod>2022-03-22</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Bio - Bethany W. Gates</image:title>
      <image:caption>My name is Bethany W. Gates. I’m a storyteller, writer and an observer of human nature. Like my initials and cultural background, my creative nonfiction is black, white and gray.  Black. The dark side that hides in the shadows. Thoughts, feelings and emotions that make up the human condition. White. The light side that observes the humor. Cheeky moments that make life worth living and stories worth telling. Gray. Gray is where the black and white blend together. Nuance stories with an intention of creating unity and inclusion*.</image:caption>
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    <lastmod>2022-03-22</lastmod>
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    <lastmod>2025-03-10</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Home - Bethany W. Gates</image:title>
      <image:caption>Creative nonfiction author and storyteller causing trouble since the second grade…</image:caption>
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    <loc>https://www.bethanywgates.com/story-submission</loc>
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    <loc>https://www.bethanywgates.com/books/helpwanted</loc>
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    <lastmod>2022-02-04</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Books - Help Wanted - Help Wanted</image:title>
      <image:caption>Bethany W. Gates Category: Humor | Biography &amp; Memoir | Creative Nonfiction As a starving artist, I needed a full-time job. With my foot in the door for a temp role, I had to get the attention of an eccentric boss to land a position. Even if that meant hitting him in the face...at his request, in this crazy short comedy!</image:caption>
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    <lastmod>2022-02-04</lastmod>
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      <image:title>Books - Attack of the Mattress! - Attack of the Mattress!</image:title>
      <image:caption>Bethany W. Gates Category: Humor | Biography &amp; Memoir | Creative Nonfiction After trying to cure my insomnia with sleep aids, I realized the problem was the bed. I assumed buying a mattress was an eventless affair. Within 24-48 hours, the cure to my insomnia would be "put to bed." However, when the sneaky salesman, Mr. Mattress, dangled a warranty carrot, I got more than I bargained for in this nightmarish comedy.</image:caption>
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